I will never forget you! (på eng)

I will never forget you

Life as a gromn up woman ins’nt always that perfect. Sometimes I t’s never that great. Notfor me, it is. I will never forget what happen to me when I was growing up, or at least my teenagetime. How my life became a living hell.
As many lovestorys begins it like heaven but then after a long time you realize that you have been set up.
Ten years ago I was sixteen. Sixteen was something that every little girl waited to be. They thought that everything would be great and nothing, absolutly nothing could happen more than that the love of her life would come into her life.
Then it would be heaven, just heaven. Well, for a start it was heaven. The hell started behind my back.
This july day were the day it all began. My brother had a soccergame to play and I was standing in the cafeteria at the game.
It was many people that came to watch the game. Many of them bought sweets from me. I also sold coffee and fruit, hamburger and coke.
This man comes into the cafeteria-room. It fellt like the sun shone into the room but there were no sun that day. It was raining and dark outside. I was happy that I were inside. But in that moment I didn’t care about the weather.
When he turned his beautiful face at me an we got eyecontact, I was lost.
The man was tall but not as tall as my father. And this man were at least ten years younger than father. In that moment I thougnt:
“Why in the world am I compering him with my father?”
The man was blond, as me, and had special eyes. They were blue but grey. The were somekind of a mix. They were like mist in the autumn. He had beautiful features and his skin was sunburned.
He walk forwards to the disc I was standing behind. He smiled a beautiful smile and showed a row of clean white teeth. He started talking but I couldn’t hear him because I was looking and exploring everything that was so fantastic and speical about him.
“excuase me” I said and smiled. My cheeks had got a red color. “What did you say?”
He laught a laugh that my ears listen as it was music. He blinked with his eye!
He order a hamburger, a coke and a cup of coffee. Under the time I was serving he sad some jokes so I laugh. He was still flirting with me and I couldn’t help that my sexteen year old heart got inlove with this man. It was the first time in my life.
The people, that had watched the game in the rain, came in now for a cup of my warm coffee. I served and served but it ended of people that wanted coffee.
When I saw my father Steven, he was talking to the man that had flirted with me!
Father and the man were walking to the dosc and were talking to each other. I heard father say to him:
“You must meet my beautiful daughter Ellen that is making the best coffee in town”.
He gave my father a fast smile before he smiled at me.
“I must say that it IS the best coffee I ever drunk in my whole thirtyfive year old life.”
So he was ten years younger than my father! That means that he was ninteen years older than me!
“Ellen, this is Mr Ben Brian. His son plays in the same team as your brother Andie.”
I smiled less. The misterious man was now nolonger a question. He was thirtyfive and had a son that was nine years. Did he have anymore children?
They went out later and left me alone in the cafeteriaroom.
I was dissapointed on Mr Brian. Maybe he had a wife and was happily married.
“And I, a little woman at sixteen” I thought “ had no chance on a man that is more than twice as old as me.”
Under the last game I was, as usally, alone and cleaning the floor from mud and sand.
What I realize at that time was that I wasn’t alone. I fellt like someone else was in the room but I didn’t see anyone.
“Maybe was Mr Brian here?” I thought with the desire of wanting him here.
“Stop dreaming, girl” I said and sigh.
“Stop dreaming of what, girl? Someone said.
I jumped as high as I thought that I was going to hurt my head in the roof. When I turned around I saw Mr Ben Brian.
“I thought I was alone in here” I said and waited on my heart to beat as normelly again but it just beat faster and faster.
“Dissapointed?” he said smiling.
“No, not at all” I said fast, too fast I guessed. “I mean it’s always nicer to have company than to be alone.”
My cheeks hade turned red again, I guessed because he laught and came closer.
“I’ve never seen more wonderful eyes than yours! And you have a face of an angel.”
He was still flirting with me. And he keept doing that the whole night.
When I closed the cafeteria I notice that my my father had left me there alone. It was a long way home and I had to hurry to make it in time so I could take a ride with someone else.
Luckily came Mr Brian and told me that my father had promised my father to take me home to Mr Brians. My father and brother were eating out with the team. Steven had Mrs Brian with him and Ben insisted to take me home to his place when I asked him to take me home.
Ben was still flirting and hide it behind his jokes.
Home at his place he made dinner. To the dinner he had wine that he also bid me. Music was also on. He insisted to dance and I gave up and danced with him. It was just slow music so we danced close and slow. I loved being in his arms.
“Oh, God, I wish that I was younger” he wispered in my ear.
“Why so?” I answered.
“If I was younger, wouldn’t I have a chance with you, then?”
“Yes” I said low. After a time I said: “But I don’t think that age matters.”
He kissed me and I anwsered him.
He carried me into the bedroom and in there something incredible took place. Something I never done before in my life.
He held me in his arms afterwords and I was almost sleeping when I felt a cold wind. Then I saw a woman coming in the room. Suddenly I wasn’t so tired

My family have never forgotten my for what I did. I have never spoken with because they never want to speak with me.
Ben moved with his wife and child. Ben told me that he had alloured me because he wanted to divorse his wife. His wife insisted on being together for their son. She wanted to move to a new place where they could start all over again.
And there I was, alone and depily inlove.
I contacted Ben later, as he wanted me to. And when I told him that I was pregnant he started sending money to me so I could buy what I wanted for the baby. His wife wanted me to do an abortion but I and Ben didn’t want that.
Nine months after that night I gave birth to Brenda.
No I wasn’t so alone anymore.I had Brenda and Ben came and visit me sometime. That had he to do.
This was hell. After ten years I’m still inlove with him and I tries to hide it every time he comes to visit us because he has always his family with him.
How could love be so cruel? I feel it like it was yesterday it happen. How can I forget him and my love to him when I have the most beautyful daughter that is a copy of her father.
I’m happy it happen but it’s sad about the consequences. Sometimes I wonder:
“What would have happen if he was younger or not married.”

Brenda runed into the room that I sat in.
“Mummy, look what I’ve found.”
A blue flower, she held in her little hand.
Those eyes reminded me of Ben.
“I will never forget you, Ben.” I thought.

Skriven av: Åsa Svensson