Something Bitter Sweet

‘’Spencer, You up?’’ Jon was standing in the doorway in red boxers and a white t-shirt. He was whispering and was bouncing to one foot to another.
‘’Yeah’’ I said groggily, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. He walked unsurely to my bed.
‘’What is it?’’ I said and sat up when he stood in front of me.
‘’I’m scared… c-can I sleep in your bed?’’ he said and looked everywhere, except on me.
‘’Sure, you can sleep in my bed if you tell me what’s wrong.’’ I said and grasped his hand, pulling him down to sit on my bed.
‘’It feels like someone’s in the closet… recording everything I do’’ he said looking at our clasped hands.
‘’Jon, that Amanda girl and Jigsaw, doesn’t exist. Only in that movie. You will not get your ribcage ripped out.’’ I said and started to lightly stroke his hand with my thumb. We’d watched ‘Saw III’ that day, and damn, it’d been blood, bones and flesh everywhere!
He nodded as I let go of his hand and he crawled to the other end of the bed and lay down under the covers.
I kissed him on the forehead as he closed his eyes.
‘’Don’t stop’’ he said merely above a whisper. He opened his eyes and moved his head so he was looking up at me.
‘’Don’t stop what?’’ I whispered back.
‘’This’’ he whispered and pressed his lips on mine. I pulled away without hesitation and looked away.
‘’Jon, you know I can’t’’ I said. He got teary eyed and started to bite on his fingernails.
‘’Just this time’’ he whispered and looked hopefully my way.
‘’Just like last month?’’ I said and looked him in the eyes. His hopeful look was gone and instead, he looked rejected.
‘’Jon, I don’t want to go through this again.’’ I said and sighed.
‘’I know… but-‘’ I cut him off.
‘’No ‘buts’ Jon, I can’t just pretend that I have feelings for you. We’re just using each other in different ways.’’ I said softly as he looked at his hands again.
He nodded as a single tear escaped in the corner of his eye.
I putted my index finger and thumb on his chin, and lifted his head so he was looking at me again. I wiped away the tear from his cheek with my thumb.
‘’You know I’ll always love you’’ he said as his eyes sparkled with tears.
‘’I know’’ I whispered and pecked his cheek.‘’I know.’’

Skriven av: Rebecka Fors