If You Die

He still remembered the young boy’s bright blue eyes. Those loveable eyes. Dean sighed and took another sip of the beer he held in his hand.

`` Dean, you asshole! You promised me to drive me to school! Get up this instant! ´´ Dean grunted and looked up at his lover. `` Too tired. Come back to bed… ´´ Joshua snorted before laughing and sat down on the bed. `` You’re always tired. Fine, I’ll still have time to walk. Besides I kept you up quite late yesterday. ´´ Josh grinned. `` Who’s complaining about that? I can’t hear anyone complaining, can you? ´´ The older male sat up in the bed and Josh laughed. `` No honey. I can’t. ´´ Dean stroke the boy’s cheek before running his fingers through Josh’s blue hair. `` You just had to colour it, hadn’t ya? ´´ Josh laughed. `` Yes. I know how much you hate it. Besides, it matches the bands rebellious image. ´´ Dean snorted. Josh was a singer in a band called Rebel Yell, which he’d formed with two friends. `` I don’t hate it. I love everything about you. ´´ After realising what he’d said, Dean flushed and threw a pillow at his lover. `` You should get going now anyway, you don’t want to be late! ´´ Josh laughed and stroked the brunette’s cheek. `` Correction. YOU don’t want me to be late. ´´ Josh laughed before he leaned closer to his loved and kissed him. Dean flushed again before hitting him in the head with another pillow. `` Stupid! Don’t waste time on me! Go! You’ll be late! ´´ Josh rushed up from the bed when another blow from the pillow hit his head. `` I’m going I’m going… ´´ He stopped at the door and turned his head to look at the older brunette. `` And I love you too. ´´

The time with Josh had been the happiest time in his life. He took out a cigarette from the package in his pocket and lit it. Even if the blue eyed boy had been two years younger than himself, he’d been the dominant one in their relationship. Always loving to find out new ways to make Dean flush. And, to Dean’s embarrassment, he always succeeded. He turned out the cigarette in the ashtray before he drank the rest of his beer and rised. Not even alcohol was soothing anymore.

`` A tragedy hit N.Y. College this morning. One of the students brought a gun into the school building and threat to kill everybody in the building. Seven people have been reported being shot. We yet know nothing about their condition… ´´ Dean froze. The woman on the news was talking about the school where Josh attended. The brunette dropped the glass he’d held in his hand but didn’t care about cleaning up the mess. He kneeled in front of the TV and stared at the live video that was shown, hoping to see his loved. `` Joshua stay out of it, please stay out of it. Damn you if you get yourself killed! ´´ The phone rung, causing him to jerk. He took a deep breath before answering the call. `` Dean Sharratt. ´´ A male cleared his throat in the line. `` Hello Mr Sharratt. My name is Matt Lyon, I’m calling from New York Memorial Hospital. ´´ Dean gasped. Please god no! `` Joshua Davis lives with you, am I correct? ´´ Dean sank down in front of the TV again.
`` Yes… ´´ He answered weakly.

Of course Joshua hadn’t been able to watch his tongue and stay out of trouble. Dean opened another beer before he sank down in the couch again. He sadly glanced over at the spot next to him. Josh always sat there, leaning against his lover’s chest. Dean sighed again. When he’d arrived to the hospital, it was already too late.

`` I will leave you alone, Mr Sharratt. A nurse will be coming soon to… clean up a little. ´´ Doctor Maxwell Byng left the room and Dean stared after him. Would he be able to do this? The brunette looked around. There was bloodspots on the floor. Atleast the doctors, or nurses or whatever, had had the decency to pull a white sheet over Josh’s body. Only revealing half his chest and his head. The young boy’s blue hair was ruffled around his head and Dean stroke it away from his lover’s eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that would never be able to see the world again. Not being able to see me, Dean thought. The brunette sat down on a chair that was placed next to his love’s body on the operating table. Dean gently took his lover’s hand in his own and laced their fingers together. `` Damn you Josh. I hate you! How can you do this to me? C’mon love, wake up and we’ll go home. ´´ Of course he won’t wake up stupid he’s dead. And you don’t hate him, a voice said in the back of his head. `` Josh, you can’t do this to me, I need you! If you die, I’ll die with you! It’s just in that song you sang to me. ´´ He couldn’t really remember the band’s name, he’d been too caught up by Josh’s singing and guitar playing. `` If you go, I wanna go with you. And if you die, I wanna die with you. Right? ´´ Tears ran down his cheek but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered without Josh. `` ‘Scuse me, Sir? ´´ He didn’t move. He hadn’t noticed the young nurse entering the room. `` Ya must be Dean, right? ´´ He nodded. `` He was your boyfriend, eh? ´´ He nodded again. He was too tired to speak. `` He asked me to tell you one thing. ´´ Dean jerked up and looked at the blonde nurse. `` Tell me something? ´´ The young girl nodded. `` I’m glad I found ya. I’ve been looking quite a while. ´´ She smiled sweetly at him. `` What… What did he say? ´´ She flushed. She was apparently uncomfortable with what she was going to say. She was young so Dean understood that she couldn’t have so much experience with love. `` He said to me, ´´

`` Please tell Dean. Tell Dean I love him. Tell him I said I was sorry, that I didn’t mean to… Do this to him. He’ll hate me for this. For sure. Please lady; tell him I love him. ´´ Cathy looked sadly at the young boy. The commotion in the ambulance didn’t seem to bother him much but Cathy knew that he knew for sure he was going to die. He grabbed her arm. `` Please Lady, promise me. ´´ She grabbed his hand, careful to not hurt him. `` I promise you. ´´

The young nurse, Cathy or something said that he’d died directly after she’d given him her word. Dean sighed sadly. `` Josh you are so damn stupid. I can’t hate you. Even if I wanted to. I knew I should have forced you to stay in bed. ´´ Dean sighed again. This wasn’t the best time to blame himself for what had happened. He rised. Now he’d made up his mind. `` If you go, I wanna go with you and if you die, I wanna die with you. ´´

Two days later all you could read about in the newspapers was the tragedy at N.Y. College and the tragic suicide that was followed by it. The lover of the young boy that was shot to death in his school had jumped in front of a train just two days after the young boy’s death. Everybody that read about it sighed sadly and they all said the same thing: One death taking two lives.