The tears of my heart

One by one tears fell slowly down her face. It looked like a glittering cascade. Emma was so uncertain. What would she do? Where would she go?
The money were not even enough for food and Kevin did not want to marry her. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have allowed herself to fall for someone who did not even want to have a steady relationship?
She did definitely not want to be his girlfriend but she wanted to become his wife. Was that to much to ask?
She wanted to be with him in joy and misery, in poverty and wealth. He could not just call her when he needed her. She was not a book he could read and put in the bookcase when it became boring.
She needed someone who would always be there for her. Someone who would love her for who she really was. Someone who did not see her less worthy just because her status in life. Just because she was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Unfortunately, not everyone are as lucky as others. The world was such a vicious, unfair place.
Emma could not control the tears that just flowed. She thought it would always be the two of them. Her eyes were swollen. It seemed like he would not leave her mind. Her soul just wanted to be with him. The heart screamed for him. But the brain tried to put some sense into her. It is said that the hope is the last thing that leaves the human being. That must be it.That must be the reason why her heart and soul would not obey her brain.
Her heart wished for a happy life beside him. But that kind of happiness was only true in fairytales. And she lived in the real world. Where the only salvation a woman had to a good life was to marry a rich man.Love was so painful. Sometimes she wondered if he was worth fighting for. But one thing she knew for sure.
Kevin was able to get her heart to fly hight to the clouds. He was able to get her to blush like a tomato. When she looked at his dark brown eyes she lost her breath. He could get her to smile involuntarily. With his eyes, he could bring up Emma's deepest feelings.
She felt stupid because she allowed him to loose control. Still his smile could warm her in the winter's coldest days.
The tears that had stopped started streaming again by the thought of life without him. Could a human being love another human being this much? Could a person allow themselves to suffer this way? Even though she put high walls around her, he was able to destroy them all.
How could she destroy the feelings she had for him? It felt impossible.



“Wake up”, a sweet voice whispered near her ear. She felt like if her head was exploding while opening her eyes. Her mother sat next to her on the cold floor
"What are you doing? Why are you sleeping on the floor? ". Her mother looked at her with her big green eyes. In her eyes, you could see a glimpse of worry. She became tearful. The moment she decided. She decided what was the right thing to do. She made the biggest decision of her life. She would not be selfish and only think about what was best for her.
She wanted to do it even for her dear mother who had suffered so much and still been able to provide food on the table. Her lovely mother who had become old and week.

"Kevin!" He turned around and saw David caught up with him.
"Hey, what happened?"
"She said yes! Her mother gave me her permission to marry her only daughter”. David laughed with joy and hugged and congratulated his dear friend.
“I have to rush now, but I will visit you tonight!”. He moved so fast that he did not hear David´s answer.
Kevin could not understand why he had a strange feeling inside of him. He should be happy for his friend's sake, but was unable to feel otherwise. Maybe it was better that way, she deserved someone better. And he knew David would make her happy.
The feeling still sat in his chest. He took a deep breath. He could not put aside the jealousy that occurred while he said they would get married.
If he had not ruined his chances he would have been the one she would marry.
But he had to. He had promised his father. And a promise can not be broken. But was it really important what other people thought?
Everything his father had been sweating too would disappear, he could not let rumors to spread. He would never forget the look in her eyes while he hurt her. He would never forget how his pitiless, chilly gaze shattered any hopes she had. Now he realized how much she meant to him.
It was not masculine to show how vulnerable he was but he could not help it. He felt wet on his cheeks and looked up at the sky. The rain had begun to topple against the ground.

Skriven av: samada krosi