What day is it? He can’t remember. He turn over in the bed and brush away the black hair that fell into his eyes. He had recently coloured it. He had convinced his mom to take him to the barber soon after Theo had ditched him. Ditched. The ravenette tried out the word. How it felt, how it tasted. What it meant. Yes. He’d been ditched. `` Zach? ´´ His mother stared worriedly down at him. `` What…? ´´ She sat down on the bed, next to him. `` I have made some food. ´´ The young ravenette snorted. `` I’m not hungry. ´´ He turned around in the bed, not wanting to see her any more. Her worried look killed him. `` Can’t you just eat a little? You haven’t eaten in days now. ´´ That was partly true. He’d drunk a glass of coke a few days ago. Or hours. He couldn’t remember that either. `` I’m not hungry. ´´ She sighed before she left. She returned a few minutes, or hours, later. She was carrying a tray which she put down next to the bed before she left. Zach sighed. His break-up with Theo had started to ruin not only his whole existence, but his mother’s too. He hated, hated, HATED Theo for doing this to him. Just leaving. Moving back to Illinois without saying a word. Suddenly he was just… Gone. Not there. Zach sat up and stared at the plate with pancakes. Maybe he should eat anyway? When he thought about it he was quite hungry. He lifted the plate up into his lap and took up the fork before he slowly started eating. It didn’t take long before the plate was empty. He sighed before he put it back on the tray and drank the remaining milk in the glass his mother had brought along with the food. It was dark outside now. `` The time flies by when you’re depressed… ´´ Hadn’t he heard someone say that to him before? Oh yeah. Trish, his sister, had said it when her boyfriend had ditched her. He sighed again and his mother knocked on the door. `` Phone for you, Zach. ´´ He stared at her. `` Who is it? ´´
`` Your dad. ´´ The ravenette sighed deeply. `` What does he want…? ´´ His mother shrugged and handed him the phone. `` Zach speaking. ´´ His father cleared his throat in the end of the line. `` Hi Zacharias. ´´ Zach snorted. Everyone called him Zach but his father. Well his classmates had replaced his usual nickname by another. Fag. `` You mother said that you… Didn’t feel so well. Thought I would give you a call. ´´ The ravenette laughed emotionlessly. His father hadn’t cared a shit about him but now when he was just a few months away from slicing his wrists, then his father just suddenly starts to care. `` Since when did you start caring about me? Maybe you don’t. You just don’t want to hear mom nagging all the time. Is she still harassing you with phone calls about me or has she given up? ´´ Zach sat down by the desk and turned on the computer. `` Your mother said that you weren’t feeling well so I was worried. It’s only natural. ´´ The ravenette sighed. `` Fine do as you want… Was there any thing else? ´´ I’m kinda busy being depressed right now, Zach thought. He knew that on some way his dad would only make things worse. `` Well… ´´ Zach snorted again. He turned his attention back to the computer and logged into MSN. `` I wondered if you would want to come visit me some day soon? ´´ The ravenette almost choked on his tongue. `` Down to you in France? ´´
`` Yes. I know I haven’t really been a good father lately but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you, Zach. You’re my son and I love you, ofcourse I want you to come down here! You can bring you’re boyfriend too, if you want. ´´ Zach winced. He’s almost forgot that he’d told his mom and dad about Theo. Now he regret it more than anything. `` He broke up. ´´ He said shortly. He didn’t really want to talk about it. Not with anyone. Maybe Trish when she came back from her trip to Japan. `` What? Why? ´´
`` Don’t know. He moved back to Illinois. ´´
`` Without saying anything? ´´
`` Exactly. ´´ Zach sighed deeply and cast an eye on the computer screen. Someone had sent him a message over MSN but he didn’t care right now.
`` That’s… Man that’s lousy. ´´ The ravenette smiled for the first time on what felt like ages.`` What happened? I mean… He could’ve told you! ´´ His father was angry. Very angry. `` I don’t know. We’d decided on coming out, tell our parents and do couples things, you know, but I don’t know. He got scared I guess. Freaked out and ran back to Illinois and left me here with our homophobic class. ´´ He cursed when that annoying sound came from the computer again. And then five times in a row. Was someone desperate or what? He rised and sat down by his desk. `` I can talk to your teachers if you want me to? ´´
`` No need. I’m fine. ´´ He gaped slightly when he looked at the screen. Theo+Zach=Forever conversation. The little icon blinked in blue. `` What does he want? Dad I have to call you back, kay? I would love to come and visit you in France. Bye! ´´ His father hadn’t even the time to say good bye before Zach had hung up and threw the phone on the bed. He sat and stared at the computer before he opened the conversation.
“Zach are you there?” He wished he’d never logged in.
“Yes.” He looked at the picture of himself and Theo that his boyfriend had as a display picture.
“God I’m so glad you are online!”
“Why?” Zach sighed when Theo started to write again. He usually wrote much, like a whole assignments. The ravenette opened my music and started looking for something he could listen too. He finally decided for Within Temptation. The little icon became blue again and he opened the conversation, sighing deeply.
“I’m so sorry! I told mom and dad the day after we decided to, their response was to force me back to Illinois. Please I tried to call you but they took my fucking cell phone! You have to get me out of here!” Zach gasped. All this time… Theo didn’t want to leave him?
“Zach?” He couldn’t help it. He started to cry.
“I thought you ditched me!”
“You’re so stupid, why would I do that? I love you, remember?” The ravenette laughed slightly.
“Yes I remember. I love you too.” His mother knocked at the door before stepping into the room. `` Zach? Why are you crying? Is everything okay? ´´ He sighed and turned towards her. `` It’s nothing I’m fine now, really. Can you book two plane tickets to France? Theo and I are going to visit dad. ´´ She smiled happily back at him. `` Ofcourse! I’m glad that you’re feeling better. ´´ She hugged him quickly before she left the room and he turned his attention back to the computer again.
“Are you there?”
“Yes. I have an idea though you have to come here. Can you make it, you think?”
“Ofcourse. What’s your idea? The ravenette grinned.
“Have you ever been to France?”
Still haven't made up a name for this one. Feel free to help. I do speak swedish (I'm actually all Swed.) But english is my... Hobby. Feel free to help, comment, critizise. Anything you like^^
Skriven av: Joscelin
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Inga-Britt IB Gustafsson
Jag heter Inga-Britt IB Gustafsson, författare och konstnär. Har gett ut flera böcker bl.a. en roman om våld i nära relation, en bok med 19 mini-rysare, diktböcker, nyligen en bok med positiva texter…Gabriel Andersson