The wall inside me

Why am i alive against my will
When i was five i didn’t want to kill.
Now i’m a teen but with a empty soul
i have seen to much and i’m almost twenty.

I don’t want to grow i just want to die
let me blow out the candle that holds my eye.
In the school i’m happy but inside i’m crying
i can’t breake the rule and have to keep lying.

I can’t forget what i’ve seen
i’ve got you in my net, my lovley queen.
You have lost your family and friends
this is not alchemy, but will it start or will it ends